The Lost Girls Who Could’ve Been So Much More

~The Lost Girls~
By Sonia Hartl
Amazon ~ Powell's

When Elton Irving turned Holly Liddell into a vampire in 1987, he promised her eternal love. But thirty-four years later, Elton has left her, her hair will be crimped for the rest of immortality, and the only job she can get as a forever-sixteen-year-old is the midnight shift at Taco Bell.

Holly’s afterlife takes an interesting turn when she meets Rose McKay and Ida Ripley. Having also been turned and discarded by Elton—Rose in 1954, and Ida, his ex-fiancée, in 1921—they want to help her, and ask for her help in return.

Rose and Ida are going to kill Elton before he turns another girl. Though Holly is hurt and angry with Elton for tossing her aside, she’s reluctant to kill her ex, until Holly meets Parker Kerr—the new girl Elton has set his sights on—and feels a quick, and nerve-wracking attraction to her.


Another YA pick for Maven's Vampire Book Club, and a shorter one at that. Mainly this was due to scheduling issues that cropped up in January, pushing back the official discussion of that month's book a couple weeks, so she figured a shorter option would be easier to slot in and get things back on track. Besides the length, and the GoodReads blurb citing "dark humor and queer love," I really didn't know anything going in. Would this vampire story edge more cutsie, or have some real bite?

Honestly, this one wasn't my favorite. I know, I've said that before and then convinced myself I actually loved it, but I don't think that'll be the case this time.

Let me start at the beginning. Holly was a fun character to follow: 16 on the outside, 16 on the inside, but with 34 years of experience. She's got a pretty sad backstory—a negligent mother, a majorly toxic boyfriend, and a supernatural unfightable pull that keeps her at his heels even after their breakup—but she's not about to get weepy over things. Shit happens, but you make the best of it and keep on going. She's snarky without being rude to everyone, she's smart but not all-knowing, and she's practical but still knows how to have fun. In short, a pretty balanced teenager.

In fact, I liked most of the characters. I really vibed with Rose being trapped in a life she didn't want by family and society, so choosing vampirism (and love) to chase freedom and her dream. Ida was fun to read, with her quirky hobbies and super dark humor, but she was also the hardest to get an emotional read on, being the "oldest" and most mysterious of the group. Stacey I also liked for her humor, but her turn-around was a bit too sudden for me. Parker was fairly bland, only coming through as a sort of mirror of Holly pre-vamp, and something to move the plot forward. The romance was pretty sweet, so long as it was viewed solely from Holly's perspective. It's really hard for me to see Parker's infatuation with Holly as separate from a chance to escape her sucky life.

Unfortunately all of the characters (who weren't Holly) were pretty much stuck at one or two traits: Rose was upbeat and driven; Ida was largely mysterious, but was otherwise macabre and sarcastic; Parker was snarky and impulsive; Stacey was even more snarky and a bit theatrical, or at least tried to make things interesting/fun when she could. And then there's the villains, who were largely painted as just plain evil: Gwen was sadistic; Frankie seemed somewhat slow, yet somehow knowledgeable about vampire lore; and Elton was the selfish, controlling scumbag.

And this is where I wonder if the book's length was to blame for its shortcomings. Underdeveloped characters are one thing, but world-building is another. Yeah, I'm probably being way too nitpicky and logic-heavy for a 200 page YA standalone novel, but if you're gonna introduce a ton of fascinating vampire lore, then why wouldn't you just take it that step further and make it make sense? I liked that vampires are practically indestructible, held in age and form at the moment of their turning, and that there's this whole supernatural ritual that has to be done in order to kill one. But knowing all that, the vampires in this novel just confuse me.

Firstly, the vampire mythos established in the book, about how to actually kill vampires, seems to contradict Elton's entire way of life. I won't go into spoilers, but suffice it to say that killing a vampire seems to hinge entirely on that vampire's fledglings taking them out. But what if a vampire never sires any other vampires? Does that mean they're entirely immortal? The story never establishes any differences between vampires who have underlings versus those that don't—no powers, no strength, no longer periods between feeding, nothing. Then what motivation would a vampire ever have to sire other vampires?

Going off the themes of this book, perhaps the driving factor is loneliness? If that's the case, then it would completely change Elton's entire character. Instead of maliciously tricking girls into falling in love with him just to turn them, use them, and throw them away, perhaps he's merely searching for his own true love? Perhaps he realized that he made a mistake with idealizing his childhood sweetheart (who turned out to have a pitch black sense of humor), and so began searching anew for an eternal mate. Sure, he's not going about it in the best way—selling himself as one thing, gaslighting and manipulating his girlfriends into abandoning their other relationships and desires, abandoning them when things don't work out—but if he was really just wanting to live up his eternity, why would he knowingly go about creating the very things that could destroy him? I'm just saying, there's a lot more that could have been explored with this guy and still have him be the villain.

Secondly, why the hell isn't there any vampire government enforcing any rules or decorum?! I mean, Ida and Rose both convince Holly that Elton needs to be stopped because he's making way too many vampires and the body count will eventually become unsustainable (I'd argue it's already gotten to that point, but apparently that's just me). But surely this had to have come up before, showing that there's a need for some council and police force keeping vamps in line? Otherwise I see no reason that vamps hadn't already taken everything over.

I don't need a full history of the vampire (though I'd never say no to one!), just a simple acknowledgement that there is a higher power at play in the world. Even if you didn't want them, or couldn't have them involved in this story, just have Ida and Rose give the justification of taking down Elton be so that they all aren't taken down by V-Gov. I find it a little hard to believe that vampires have managed to self-police for however long they've been a thing when jackasses like Elton and Gwen exist.

There are a ton of things like this that I could go on and on about, but I feel like that's not what I want this review to turn into. Rather than listing what-if's and if-only's, I feel like it'd be better to focus on what was actually in the book instead of what I'd like to see. This is partly because there's no way to actually change what this book is or isn't, or know if there were any issues that came about due to length restrictions, and partly because if you're interested in that kind of talk you should totally join the book club and discuss this stuff with us!

But I digress.

The main problem I had with this story had to do with its focus on toxic relationships both romantic and familial, and dealing with them. Holly talks about how her mother's selfish behavior directly influenced her crappy school life, enough so that running away (and becoming a vampire) seemed like the best option. Parker is in a very similar situation, with a mother who seems just as selfish and self-centered, moving towns on a whim, and even once (accidentally?) leaving Parker behind. I'll grant that I'm (thankfully) extremely unfamiliar with these types of situations, so maybe I'm wrong, but I don't see that abandonment is really the best solution.

Do I think that toxic relationships should be abandoned? Yes. But do I also think that we're getting a one-sided view of these parents' actions? Also yes. And yeah, I get it, I'm old—more than double the age of the main character—so wanting to hear the parent's side could simply be me having unrealistic expectations of a YA story. But is therapy or counseling not maybe a better option? Did either girl actually confront their mother with their toxic behavior, or was it all internalized? I mean, I'm all for dropping toxic relationships, and I have no doubt that shitty, toxic parents exist, but I just don't know if I can get behind the choice of abandonment via suicide, regardless of supernatural forces' involvement.

And it definitely didn't improve my feelings when dementia was involved in the attempt at reconciliation.

So yeah, a lot of dark subject matter, some of which I didn't know how to process, and some that just hit me the wrong way. I did appreciate the messages about regret, letting go of the past in order to move forward, and taking control of your life away from those who would do you wrong (specifically toxic boyfriends). (And yeah, I get that I'm potentially putting forth a double standard of being okay dropping the toxic boyfriend but not the toxic parent, but at least I know conversations took place with the toxic boyfriend.) I just wasn't as keen on some of the choices made in regards to specific people...

Which leads me to the ending. I was disappointed. Both for reasons I've already gone over, and the fact that it felt rushed. There's this huge emotional moment that has been building up for the better part of the story, but once it happens we're immediately thrown into a fight scene with even more emotional twists, and then it's all capped off with a super quick wrap-up. You'd think we'd get a moment or two to sit and feel the impact and fallout of all those emotional hits, but nope! No reflection, hardly any conversation, and no payoff for a majority of the conflict and drama leading up to this point. I'm sure it was supposed to feel open-ended and hopeful, but I was just left sad.

Overall, I don't know how to recommend this one. On the one hand, I think it has fun characters, it does some interesting things with vampire mythology, and does a good job examining regret and how it influences us. But on the other hand, I had issues with its shallow characterizations, its unsatisfying ending, and its handling of toxic relationships. I think there are some good messages and important things addressed, but I also think it missed the mark with a lot of things. I suppose if you're interested in a bittersweet, queer, quirky, YA vampire romance story and not wanting anything too complex or detailed, this might be what you're looking for. As for myself, I'll be hoping for some lighter fare with a lower body count.

Read by Justis Bolding
Unabridged Length: 8.4 Hours
Listened at 2.25x Speed

Honestly, I don't know if I feel this way because I chose to listen at a faster tempo than normal, but I don't really have much to say about this audio. Ms. Bolding did a fine job in narration; the characters were distinct enough that I could tell who was talking, and her pacing was fine. I did appreciate the couple times Sweet Caroline was referenced that the "Dun dun dun" was actually said semi-melodically—it's not huge, but I definitely noticed and smiled at it, since it's something you don't often get in audios (copyright and whatnot).

Overall, the production was fine. Serviceable, but nothing to write home about. No major accents or non-English vocabulary to tackle, and honestly not much emotion to translate made this story pretty plain to adapt. And though I think I noticed two times in the entire audio where a word was different from the text, all in all that's pretty negligible. A solid audiobook for people who already enjoy the medium, but not one that's going to convert anyone.