Zoe Spanos is Missing - And We're Missing Zoe

~I Killed Zoe Spanos~
By Kit Frick
Amazon ~ Powell's

What happened to Zoe won’t stay buried…

When Anna Cicconi arrives to the small Hamptons village of Herron Mills for a summer nanny gig, she has high hopes for a fresh start. What she finds instead is a community on edge after the disappearance of Zoe Spanos, a local girl who has been missing since New Year’s Eve. Anna bears an eerie resemblance to Zoe, and her mere presence in town stirs up still-raw feelings about the unsolved case. As Anna delves deeper into the mystery, stepping further and further into Zoe’s life, she becomes increasingly convinced that she and Zoe are connected—and that she knows what happened to her.

Two months later, Zoe’s body is found in a nearby lake, and Anna is charged with manslaughter. But Anna’s confession is riddled with holes, and Martina Green, teen host of the Missing Zoe podcast, isn’t satisfied. Did Anna really kill Zoe? And if not, can Martina’s podcast uncover the truth?


Another hold-over from 2020's 25 Reads of December from RivitedLit. I wasn't planning on picking this one, what with it not having any of my typical favorite aspects, like Fantasy or Sci-Fi setting, nor did it promise much in the way of sass or rom-com vibes. But then I read that it's inspired by Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca, which I haven't read but know a bit about from one of my favorite YouTuber's Lost in Adaptation episode on it. So, armed with a cursory knowledge of the mystery I might be facing, I jumped in with both RivitedLit's web version and the audiobook on loan from my library. And boy, did things sure get twisty.

Obviously, this book being a mystery, I won't go into too much detail on all the twists and turns it takes, but the book kinda gives a bit away at the beginning by starting off with Anna's testifying that she killed Zoe Spanos. (Roll credits.) We then jump back in time two-to-three months to when Anna first started her new nanny gig in the Hamptons and follow her as she discovers the mystery of Zoe, how she's a near-perfect doppelgänger of her, and how the two of them are connected by more than just their looks. The story continued to jump back and forth every couple chapters, mainly focusing on Anna's life leading up to her confession, then having interludes of Martina investigating in the present.

The swapping back and forth between "Then" and "Now" wasn't really an issue for me. While reminding me of Nolan's Memento, there's thankfully no mystery behind what time we're in, being stated at the beginning of each chapter, and both timelines still moved forward linearly. However, when the timelines converged at the end I found the narration switches between Anna and Martina were less clear. The time and place is listed at the start of each chapter, but the POV character isn't. Actually, the audiobook helped convey the switch more than the text. Plus it even had a full cast narration for the podcast sections, which had extra sound effects and didn't read out the stage directions/names that the book had, which was SO great! But more on the audio below.

But yeah, the book does feature podcast episodes peppered throughout the story. Created by Martina as both a boost to help her college prospects and a call to the community for help in the investigation, they also double as a creative way to fill in both Anna and the reader on the details of Zoe's case. I'm usually quick to criticize exposition dumps, but these podcasts felt so unique and organic to the story—a hobby of a main character which collects interviews from people around her—that I didn't even notice their utility until looking back at them. Kudos.

Those familiar with Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca may be wondering if this is a straight-up retelling of the story, which might ruin the mystery for them. On that front I'm happy to report that the stories do diverge, though I won't say how much (since, again, I don't want to spoil things!). There are obvious parallels through the cast, with Anna as the nameless heroine, Zoe as Rebecca, Caden as Maxim, and his mother as a very distant Mrs. Danvers, but as soon as the cast is established their differences take to the fore and the story shifts into its own. So, yeah, I can see the inspiration from Rebecca, but this story stands on its own.

Speaking of the main characters, I should probably elaborate a bit. Anna, our main heroine, is eager to jump into a new life. She's attempting to recover from a partying problem, rife with blackouts and police escorts home. With college looming on the horizon she's ready to carve out a new path on the straight and narrow, starting with a new stay-in nanny job for the summer. I definitely felt for Anna, both in wanting to make a new start in life and in her frustration with the lack of communication from her loved ones. When she suddenly starts remembering things about Zoe, which she logically shouldn't be able to remember, she looks for answers but is gaslit at every turn by her friends and family. Equal parts infuriating and heartbreaking.

And that sentiment trickles down through the rest of the cast as well. Caden, as Zoe's boyfriend, is seen as a main suspect in the case, even after his name is thoroughly cleared. Whether this is solely due to the lover-turned-murderer being a well-known cliche or because he's also black, he's not quite sure, but he definitely has his suspicions. But he's still got his studies and his schizophrenic mother to take care of, as well as some other not-so-happy memories, so please no more questions, thank you very much. Not that that will stop some people.

Martina isn't as big a character as you might expect from the book's description. She talks a bit about struggling with classes, working at her dad's shop, her parents not supporting her journalism aspirations, and her relations regarding Caden, Zoe, and Asher—her best friend and Zoe's little sister. But really, Martina's job is to solve the mystery and relay as much information as possible on that front. If she's not conducting interviews on her podcast, she's planning for them, or she's reviewing what's happened so far in preparation for what to do next. I think she gets all of one chapter that doesn't have her solely focused on the podcast, and that one is looking for clues directly. I'm all for characters devoted to their craft, but Martina seemed more of a plot device for both exposition (in the podcasts) and solving the mystery than a character in her own right. Not wholly damning, but disappointing in retrospect.

As for the mystery itself, I thought it worked very well. There's a bit of a psychological thriller undercurrent, with Anna not knowing what memories are real or if her overactive imagination is interfering, and I was honestly wondering if there were paranormal elements to the story as well, what with her suddenly knowing things about a person she's never met. But this mystery is played very close to the chest, with facts not being fully exposed until the very end of the book. It isn't one I think you could piece together throughout, which I know can be frustrating to some readers, but I think it does a good job of explaining everything and tying up all the lose ends before concluding. It's thorough, if a bit heartbreaking, but what missing persons/murder/manslaughter case isn't?

Overall, this was a pleasant surprise in a genre I'm not usually keen to pick up. Though the pacing was a little slow at times, the mystery was enticing and the podcasts were a unique way to keep the information flowing such that it kept me reading almost nonstop. I'd highly recommend the audiobook for the podcasts sections, as they were hands down the best case of audiobook production I've experienced in a while, but the transcripts in the text work fine if audio isn't your thing. So if you're in the mood for some Unsolved Mysteries-esque intrigue wrapped up in a tidy YA package, definitely give this one a try.

Read by Jenni Barber, Jayme Mattler, and a full cast
Unabridged Length: 10.7 Hours
Listened at 1.75x Speed

I gotta say, this audiobook is one to look out for. Whereas the last couple audios I've experienced were serviceable, this one really took the cake for the amount of care and effort stuffed into it.

First of all, the two main narrators help things right off the bat in establishing just who we're following in each chapter. This story likes to leap back and forth between "Then" and "Now" every few chapters. While the non-linear storytelling is easy to keep track of, for the most part, with each chapter announcing its time and location, there does come a point where the narrator changes without a clear establishment. Thankfully the audiobook allows the added distinction with its handy use of different readers for each of the book's narrators.

And even better was the use of a full cast during the podcast sections. During each of the 5 podcasts, which are 'transcribed' in the physical book, a full cast of readers (including a couple I've heard before, like Inés del Castillo from Sia Martinez) takes over all the interviews. Those familiar with audiobooks have no doubt heard some lack-luster edits when it comes to mixed-media in the story. Like when an author includes an email or a text conversation, and the audiobook reader says each and every part, including the names, subject lines, signatures, etc. But here, this was a labor of love. Not only are the names of each podcast speaker edited out (being redundant, since, in typical podcast format, they're introduced either prior to, or shortly after speaking), but sound effects and music are actually included in the audio! For example, if an interview takes place on a sketchy phone call, there's appropriate scratch and echo in the recording; if the interview is outside, there's birds and background voices; and the theme music for the podcast actually plays at the beginning and end of each one. You can instantly tell these podcast sections were a labor of love, and they all pay off. Heck, I wish we got to hear the 3 episodes that were skipped over in the story just to hear more of the voicework.

Overall, this was a fantastic audiobook experience with a lot of heart and passion poured into it. While it makes sense that the podcast portions would be highly produced, what with them being a key factor of the author's original idea for the book, I was still blown out of the water by just how much time was obviously spent on them. Add in the stellar traditional narration of our two leads, and I have no choice but to rank this as a must-hear audiobook, especially if you enjoy, or have any interest in podcasts. And even if you don't, those sections are only a couple pages long anyway.