Fighting Getting Older

I had to laugh at myself last week. Yes, I know it's theoretically a good practice to find something humorous about yourself, but this time I really did have a good laugh at my own expense.

I dislike answering the phone. Partly it's because I often don't know what to say on the phone. Especially with calls coming in. First, the call itself is a surprise. Then, in my room with my ancient Nickelodeon Phone, there's no caller ID to tell you who it is. Thus, I have no no way to prepare. And I like having some semblance of control in my life.

But, I suspect, it's mostly because the calls coming in are never for me. I still live with my mom, and as such, most calls are for her. But, with her being at work at strange(er) hours recently, I've taken to answering the phone and taking messages.

So, last week I get a call from some survey agency that she's signed up with, asking if they could speak with her. Contrary to popular belief, this is a call she actually would want to take. I pause a moment before telling them she's at work. The caller asks if there's a better time to call. I pause then tell them her hours, and that it's probably best to call back the next day before a certain time. I'm thanked, and the call ends.

Now...I don't know if you noticed, but I repeated an action during the above situation...

Found it yet?

I paused. Twice.

Sure, I could be just taking a moment to think things through. Going over my words so they don't come out jumbled. It's perfectly natural, right?

Actually, what I was really doing was...debating if it was okay to tell them my mom was at work. You know when you're little and your parents tell you A) not to answer the door or the phone when they're gone, or B) never to tell people you're home alone? Yeah, I still had that going through my head.

And I'm 22!

In related news, I also had a job interview last week. It was for a position unloading trucks and setting up displays at 4am. Not the best job in the world, sure, but they pay wasn't bad, and the hours would leave me open to relax/write/get another job later in the day.

I was nervous, and I completely missed one of the questions ("Why do you want to work as a [job title here]?"), but I thought the interview went fairly well. I was told I would hear back in the next day or two by phone (meaning YES), or email (meaning NO)...or postcard (meaning NO...but really, wtf?).

I got an email:

Hello
Victoria,

Thank you for taking the time to apply with us. We are unable to offer you a position at this time, but we do appreciate your interest in [Company].

Arg! Was it because I went on vacation this weekend? Was it because I forgot to mention how stoked I was about that specific job? Was it because I'm over-qualified—they first called to inquire if I had supervisory experience (other positions I applied for), but I didn't, so then they asked if I was interested in this job—even though I just want a job? Did the person in front of me get the job?

So many questions. So many possibilities. But only one answer, one reason I'll never hear.

Getting older sucks.