Showing posts with label progress report. Show all posts
Showing posts with label progress report. Show all posts
Sunday, December 30, 2012
That's a Wrap! - Challenge Wrap-Up
1. Vamplayers ~ Rusty Fischer
2. The Dig ~ Audrey Hart
3. Settling ~ Shelley Workinger
4. Grave Mercy ~ Robin LaFevers
5. Crushed ~ K.C. Blake
6. Shatter Me ~ Tahereh Mafi
7. The Immortal Rules ~ Julie Kagawa
8. Bitterblue ~ Kristin Cashore
9. Original Sin ~ Lisa Desrochers
10. Detention of the Living Dead ~ Rusty Fischer
11. Daughter of Smoke & Bone ~ Laini Taylor
1. Daughter of Smoke & Bone ~ Laini Taylor
1. Stardust ~ Neil Gaiman
2. Bitterblue ~ Kristin Cashore
3. Personal Demons ~ Lisa Desrochers
4. Original Sin ~ Lisa Desrochers
5. Daughter of Smoke & Bone ~ Laini Taylor
1. Vamplayers ~ Rusty Fischer
2. The Dig ~ Audrey Hart
3. Settling ~ Shelley Workinger
4. Crushed ~ K.C. Blake
5. Borderline ~ Bonnie Rozanski
6. Stardust ~ Neil Gaiman
7. Original Sin ~ Lisa Desrochers
1. Vamplayers ~ Rusty Fischer
2. The Adventures of Johnny Bunko ~ Daniel H. Pink & Rob Ten Pas
3. The Dig ~ Audrey Hart
4. Settling ~ Shelley Workinger
5. Grave Mercy ~ Robin LaFevers
6. Crushed ~ K.C. Blake
7. Borderline ~ Bonnie Rozanski
8. The Immortal Rules ~ Julie Kagawa
9. Bonds of Fenris ~ S.J. Bell
10. Original Sin ~ Lisa Desrochers
11. Guardian ~ Heather Burch
12. Detention of the Living Dead ~ Rusty Fischer
13. The Werewolf Asylum ~ Gareth Barsby
1. Grave Mercy ~ Robin LaFevers
2. The Immortal Rules ~ Julie Kagawa
3. Sneak Peek of The Archived ~ Victoria Schwab
4. Guardian ~ Heather Burch
1. Vamplayers ~ Rusty Fischer
2. The Dig ~ Audrey Hart
3. Settling ~ Shelley Workinger
4. Crushed ~ K.C. Blake
5. Borderline ~ Bonnie Rozanski
6. Stardust ~ Neil Gaiman
7. Original Sin ~ Lisa Desrochers
1. Crushed ~ K.C. Blake
2. Stardust ~ Neil Gaiman
W erewolf Asylum, The by Gareth Barsby
H alflings by Heather Burch
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I mmortal Rules, The by Julie Kagawa
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D ig, The by Audrey Hart
O riginal Sin by Lisa Desrochers
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B orderline by Bonnie Rozanski
T raitor's Son by Hilari Bell
S ettling by Shelley Workinger
H
O
O
T
T
H
E
W
I
Z
A
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D etention of the Living Dead by Rusty Fischer
Well, there goes another year that I didn't meet any of my goals. I think next year I'll limit myself to 3, then add only if I'm doing well with them. I still think 50 books isn't unreasonable for the Goodreads challenge... And I think my recently dusted books will finally get read this year. Plus I hope to finally check off those requests I keep meaning to get to.
Another year, another plan. I hope the next year brings better progress and surprises than this year did! Happy New Year everyone!!!
Keywords:
failing
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Goals
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link
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lists
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Overwhelmed
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progress report
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Reading Challenge
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recap
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To-Do List
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Too Many Choices
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Top Ten Tuesday: Fall 2012 TBR List
Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted at The Broke and the Bookish.
I'm WAY behind on my normal TBR list, and other than a quick perusal of Amazon's "Coming Soon" listing, I honestly don't know what's releasing this Fall.
Sorry about that.
So rather than telling you what I'm dying to read that has yet to be released this year, here are my Top Ten Books that I SWEAR I WILL READ (and review) this fall.
10. Her Majesty's Will by David Blixt
9. Moonstone by Marilee Brothers
8.The White Oak by Kim White
7. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
6. Delirium by Lauren Oliver
5. The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
4. Halflings & Guardian by Heather Burch


3. Endlessly by Kiersten White
2. Last Rite by Lisa Desrochers
1. Spell Bound by Rachel Hawkins
Sorry I couldn't be a bit more on top of things this year, but what do you think?
I'm WAY behind on my normal TBR list, and other than a quick perusal of Amazon's "Coming Soon" listing, I honestly don't know what's releasing this Fall.
Sorry about that.
So rather than telling you what I'm dying to read that has yet to be released this year, here are my Top Ten Books that I SWEAR I WILL READ (and review) this fall.
Before he was famous, he was a fugitive.
Before he wrote of humanity, he lived it.
Before he was the Bard of Avon, he was a spy.
A very poor spy.
England, 1586. Swept up in the skirts of a mysterious stranger, Will Shakespeare becomes entangled in a deadly and hilarious misadventure as he accidentally uncovers the Babington Plot, an attempt to murder Queen Elizabeth herself. Aided by the mercurial wit of Kit Marlowe, Will enters London for the first time, chased by rebels, spies, his own government, his past, and a bear.
Through it all he demonstrates his loyalty and genius, proving himself to be - HER MAJESTY'S WILL.
Before he wrote of humanity, he lived it.
Before he was the Bard of Avon, he was a spy.
A very poor spy.
England, 1586. Swept up in the skirts of a mysterious stranger, Will Shakespeare becomes entangled in a deadly and hilarious misadventure as he accidentally uncovers the Babington Plot, an attempt to murder Queen Elizabeth herself. Aided by the mercurial wit of Kit Marlowe, Will enters London for the first time, chased by rebels, spies, his own government, his past, and a bear.
Through it all he demonstrates his loyalty and genius, proving himself to be - HER MAJESTY'S WILL.
A sickly mom. A tiny house trailer. High school bullies and snarky drama queens. Bad-guy dudes with charming smiles. Allie has problems. And then there's that whole thing about fulfilling a magical prophecy and saving the world from evil. Geez.
Welcome to the sad, funny, sometimes-scary world of fifteen-year-old Allie Emerson, who's struggling to keep her and her mom's act together in the small-town world of Peacock Flats, Washington. An electrical zap from a TV antenna sets off Allie's weird psychic powers. The next thing she knows she's being visited by a hippy-dippy guardian angel, and then her mysterious neighbor, the town "witch," gives her an incredible moonstone pendant that has powers only a good-hearted "Star Seeker" is meant to command.
"Who, me?" is Allie's first reaction. But as sinister events begin to unfold, Allie realizes she's got a destiny to live up to. If she can just survive everyday life, in the meantime.
Welcome to the sad, funny, sometimes-scary world of fifteen-year-old Allie Emerson, who's struggling to keep her and her mom's act together in the small-town world of Peacock Flats, Washington. An electrical zap from a TV antenna sets off Allie's weird psychic powers. The next thing she knows she's being visited by a hippy-dippy guardian angel, and then her mysterious neighbor, the town "witch," gives her an incredible moonstone pendant that has powers only a good-hearted "Star Seeker" is meant to command.
"Who, me?" is Allie's first reaction. But as sinister events begin to unfold, Allie realizes she's got a destiny to live up to. If she can just survive everyday life, in the meantime.
Cora Alexander is pulled through a sinkhole and enters the underworld still alive. Her living presence threatens the tyrannical rule of Minos and the Infernal Judges who have hijacked the afterlife and rebuilt it, trapping human souls in a mechanical, computer-controlled city that lies at the core of the earth. To survive, Cora must rely on her untrustworthy guide, Minotaur, an artificial intelligence. She is helped by a mysterious voice, and by Sybil, underworld librarian and author of each person’s book of life. When Cora’s own book is destroyed, Sybil gives her a golden pen and sends her into the City to begin writing her own destiny. Along the way, she reunites with the ghost of her dead brother, Lucas, a genius programmer who alone is capable of finding the chink in Minos armor. This fast-paced adventure begins, and ends, in the middle of the action; introducing the characters, themes, and mysteries that find their resolution later in the series.
A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. Fiction is based on real black and white photographs. The death of grandfather Abe sends sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, and explores abandoned bedrooms and hallways. The children may still live.
Before scientists found the cure, people thought love was a good thing. They didn’t understand that once love -- the deliria -- blooms in your blood, there is no escaping its hold. Things are different now. Scientists are able to eradicate love, and the government demands that all citizens receive the cure upon turning eighteen. Lena Holoway has always looked forward to the day when she’ll be cured. A life without love is a life without pain: safe, measured, predictable, and happy.
But with ninety-five days left until her treatment, Lena does the unthinkable: She falls in love.
But with ninety-five days left until her treatment, Lena does the unthinkable: She falls in love.
It happens at the start of every November: the Scorpio Races. Riders attempt to keep hold of their water horses long enough to make it to the finish line. Some riders live. Others die.
At age nineteen, Sean Kendrick is the returning champion. He is a young man of few words, and if he has any fears, he keeps them buried deep, where no one else can see them.
Puck Connolly is different. She never meant to ride in the Scorpio Races. But fate hasn’t given her much of a chance. So she enters the competition — the first girl ever to do so. She is in no way prepared for what is going to happen.
At age nineteen, Sean Kendrick is the returning champion. He is a young man of few words, and if he has any fears, he keeps them buried deep, where no one else can see them.
Puck Connolly is different. She never meant to ride in the Scorpio Races. But fate hasn’t given her much of a chance. So she enters the competition — the first girl ever to do so. She is in no way prepared for what is going to happen.
4. Halflings & Guardian by Heather Burch
After being inexplicably targeted by an evil intent on harming her at any cost, seventeen-year-old Nikki finds herself under the watchful guardianship of three mysterious young men who call themselves halflings. Sworn to defend her, misfits Mace, Raven, and Vine battle to keep Nikki safe while hiding their deepest secret—and the wings that come with.
A growing attraction between Nikki and two of her protectors presents a whole other danger. While she risks a broken heart, Mace and Raven could lose everything, including their souls. As the mysteries behind the boys’ powers, as well as her role in a scientist’s dark plan, unfold, Nikki is faced with choices that will affect the future of an entire race of heavenly beings, as well as the precarious equilibrium of the earthly world.
A growing attraction between Nikki and two of her protectors presents a whole other danger. While she risks a broken heart, Mace and Raven could lose everything, including their souls. As the mysteries behind the boys’ powers, as well as her role in a scientist’s dark plan, unfold, Nikki is faced with choices that will affect the future of an entire race of heavenly beings, as well as the precarious equilibrium of the earthly world.
Evie's paranormal past keeps coming back to haunt her. A new director at the International Paranormal Containment Agency wants to drag her back to headquarters. The Dark Faerie Queen is torturing humans in her poisonous realm. And supernatural creatures keep insisting that Evie is the only one who can save them from a mysterious, perilous fate.
The clock is ticking on the entire paranormal world. And its fate rests solely in Evie's hands.
So much for normal.
The clock is ticking on the entire paranormal world. And its fate rests solely in Evie's hands.
So much for normal.
In this final installment of the thrilling, edgy Personal Demons series, the battle between Heaven and Hell has become critical, and Frannie Cavanaugh is right at the center of it.
With the help of the powerful angel Gabe and demon-turned-mortal Luc, Frannie has been able to stay one step ahead of the forces of Hell. But when the demons killed Frannie's best friend and destroyed her brother, they raised the stakes. If Frannie wants to keep her family and friends safe, she knows she has no choice but to go on the run.
Their best defense is the power Frannie has been struggling to master, but her attempts to hone her skill go horribly awry. If Frannie doesn't learn fast, the consequences could be devastating--even apocalyptic.
What happens when you can't outrun Hell...or trust the ones you love?
With the help of the powerful angel Gabe and demon-turned-mortal Luc, Frannie has been able to stay one step ahead of the forces of Hell. But when the demons killed Frannie's best friend and destroyed her brother, they raised the stakes. If Frannie wants to keep her family and friends safe, she knows she has no choice but to go on the run.
Their best defense is the power Frannie has been struggling to master, but her attempts to hone her skill go horribly awry. If Frannie doesn't learn fast, the consequences could be devastating--even apocalyptic.
What happens when you can't outrun Hell...or trust the ones you love?
Hailed as “impossible to put down,” the Hex Hall series has both critics and teens cheering. With a winning combination of romance, action, magic and humor, this third volume will leave readers enchanted.
Just as Sophie Mercer has come to accept her extraordinary magical powers as a demon, the Prodigium Council strips them away. Now Sophie is defenseless, alone, and at the mercy of her sworn enemies—the Brannicks, a family of warrior women who hunt down the Prodigium. Or at least that’s what Sophie thinks, until she makes a surprising discovery. The Brannicks know an epic war is coming, and they believe Sophie is the only one powerful enough to stop the world from ending. But without her magic, Sophie isn’t as confident.
Sophie’s bound for one hell of a ride—can she get her powers back before it’s too late?
Just as Sophie Mercer has come to accept her extraordinary magical powers as a demon, the Prodigium Council strips them away. Now Sophie is defenseless, alone, and at the mercy of her sworn enemies—the Brannicks, a family of warrior women who hunt down the Prodigium. Or at least that’s what Sophie thinks, until she makes a surprising discovery. The Brannicks know an epic war is coming, and they believe Sophie is the only one powerful enough to stop the world from ending. But without her magic, Sophie isn’t as confident.
Sophie’s bound for one hell of a ride—can she get her powers back before it’s too late?
Sorry I couldn't be a bit more on top of things this year, but what do you think?
Which books are you excited for?
Which books are on your list?
Let me hear you howl!
Which books are on your list?
Let me hear you howl!
Keywords:
blogging
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Books
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community
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future
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good news
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lists
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progress report
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Top Ten Tuesday
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Update
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Marching Into The Black
I know, I know - another week without posts. Don't worry, I'm still here, just had a week-long temp job (yay!) interfering with my reading (boo!). But I'm back on track and am excited to reveal some more reviews, an upcoming release, and a little of what else I've been up to lately.
On the e-reader front, I think I'm narrowing down my search. I've been introduced to the possibility of an inexpensive tablet, which I could then personalize with whatever reading apps I wanted. I'm still not sure about backlighted reading, so I'm kinda thinking about getting a Kindle Fire
from Best Buy for their trial period. See if I use any of the apps, and am okay with the backlit screen, then downgrade if I have any issues. Then again, I may fall in love with it - who knows?
In case you've been living under a rock in the last few months, you've no doubt heard about the internet protection, anti-piracy acts being voted on by various and sundry governments. SOPA was struck down or at least deferred for a time, but that hasn't stopped other bills, like ACTA, from reaching other governments and in some cases actually getting approved.
Some artists/activists/internet users have had enough and have proposed a Black March:
So what are your thoughts? Are you for or against the ACTA-type bills; will you go on an entertainment strike; is this whole thing being blown out of proportion? Sound off in the comments below!
On the e-reader front, I think I'm narrowing down my search. I've been introduced to the possibility of an inexpensive tablet, which I could then personalize with whatever reading apps I wanted. I'm still not sure about backlighted reading, so I'm kinda thinking about getting a Kindle Fire
In case you've been living under a rock in the last few months, you've no doubt heard about the internet protection, anti-piracy acts being voted on by various and sundry governments. SOPA was struck down or at least deferred for a time, but that hasn't stopped other bills, like ACTA, from reaching other governments and in some cases actually getting approved.
Some artists/activists/internet users have had enough and have proposed a Black March:
So what are your thoughts? Are you for or against the ACTA-type bills; will you go on an entertainment strike; is this whole thing being blown out of proportion? Sound off in the comments below!
Keywords:
ACTA
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Amazon
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blogging
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censorship
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confusion
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Electronics
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piracy
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progress report
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Random
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Reading
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SOPA
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trouble
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Update
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Greetings Again!
Hello!!!
Phew, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry to have left you hanging these past couple months. I've been working out some personal things and have only just gotten back around to reading.
I know, I know - "How could you possibly not have been reading!?" you say. Well, the brain does funny things sometimes, like making you think that enjoyable things are too much trouble...
But I've worked through that and am currently in the process of working up my Tamora Pierce Challenge reviews! Okay, I might be a little behind, but better late than never, right? Look for a steady flow of TP reviews coming throughout the month of November, finishing up with a review of her recently released conclusion to the Provost's Dog (Beka Cooper) Trilogy, Mastiff!
Looking forward to getting back in the swing of things. Hope you've all been well. Signing off for now,
~Vicki
Keywords:
Beginning
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blogging
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failing
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future
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good news
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progress report
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Rambling
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Random
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Reading
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Reading Challenge
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Tamora Pierce
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Construction Progress Report
Greetings, ladies and gentlemen,
I trust that this report finds you well. Construction on The Den is going ahead as planned: the supports are holding up, the library is coming along nicely, and the work crew has good morale, despite some of the press our project has received. But more on that later in the report.
This is most likely finding you a bit later than usual, but that must be attributed to the fact that the Olympics are currently underway. In fact, the overall pace of operations has slowed slightly, but I assure you that this speed bump is essential for morale to continue. There is nothing like the four S's (skating, snowboarding, skiing, and speeding full-force down a hill) to get the blood pumping, even if the staff is doing it vicariously through the television. This is, of course, preferable to the extra cost and risk of injury that traveling to, or competing in the games would bring. Rest assured that these minor setbacks will not be detrimental to the project's goals and deadlines. Normal schedules should resume within the next two weeks.
In less exciting news, we have received our first bit of bad press. Yesterday, a rather lengthy review was left on our most recent publication, Nothing Personal, and I'm sorry to say that none of it was good.
And that brings us to the final order of business: future planning. This Friday we are mandating the staff attend a Writer's Workshop on good critiquing practices. Powell's Books is holding the event with writers Rosanne Parry, Fran Cannon Slayton, and Edith M. Hemingway, and it looks to be an exciting opportunity. A recap of the event will likely be included in next week's write-up.
As always, thank you for your continued patronage.
Best regards,
~Vicki~
I trust that this report finds you well. Construction on The Den is going ahead as planned: the supports are holding up, the library is coming along nicely, and the work crew has good morale, despite some of the press our project has received. But more on that later in the report.
This is most likely finding you a bit later than usual, but that must be attributed to the fact that the Olympics are currently underway. In fact, the overall pace of operations has slowed slightly, but I assure you that this speed bump is essential for morale to continue. There is nothing like the four S's (skating, snowboarding, skiing, and speeding full-force down a hill) to get the blood pumping, even if the staff is doing it vicariously through the television. This is, of course, preferable to the extra cost and risk of injury that traveling to, or competing in the games would bring. Rest assured that these minor setbacks will not be detrimental to the project's goals and deadlines. Normal schedules should resume within the next two weeks.
In less exciting news, we have received our first bit of bad press. Yesterday, a rather lengthy review was left on our most recent publication, Nothing Personal, and I'm sorry to say that none of it was good.
I don't want to spend more time in a character's head than necessary; pathos is something to be avoided anyhow, not embraced.We at The Wolf's Den appealed to the critic with as polite a response as was possible. We tried to give as much appreciation for the time they so obviously put in to their critique, but at the same time give them a healthy amount of objection for a scathing review.
Might I also point out that simply re-writing a story to increase the potency of the effect it already has does not qualify as a revision.
And I don't want to know a character that's going to be murdered a page or two away. I mean, yeah, there's some clumsy writing and some of the detail selection is careless and awkward, but to taunt the reader with a character and then to kill them off is some nerve. I mean, a lot of the breadth here could be summed up in a few good, short, strong paragraphs instead of the engrossing play-by-play the reader is treated to. That way we're not bored and ready to quit by the time the male thief is murdered and don't feel irked with the writer for essentially misleading us and thus wasting our time by teasing us with the eccentricities of a thief we never get to fully explore.
Bottom (yet superfluous) line: Tricking the reader is a cardinal sin, and allowing the reader enough rope to hang themselves with is just plain carelessness--its not much better, but it is excusable, and I think that's the case here. If the story is about the female thief, which it appears to be, then for Heaven's sakes -don't- have the male thief be the object of third-person limited! Don't even use third-person limited at all! Such a beginning requires the use of the omniscient narrator, that way a switch between subjects/people occurs without a second thought, and the narrator is allowed to keep distance between characters the reader isn't supposed to bond with.
Yours Sincerely,
~D.
Firstly, I'd like to thank you for writing a review, albeit one that offers no constructive criticism. One might be able to gleam one or two suggestions from your comments, but on the whole, 'scrap it and start over' isn't something any writer can build on. Still, it's nice to get the first purely negative critique out of the way, so thanks.I am quite pleased to report that this appeal yielded quite a pleasing response. Not only has the critic rescinded some of his claims, but has offered some sound advice that I believe will most certainly be taken into consideration if not acted upon.
Actually, revision is just that. So, no, you may not try to point that out.
Third-person limited was one of the requirements for the workshop that this was submitted for. Sorry (not really) you don't approve.
My bottom line: I'm not apologetic at all for the bait and switch. That's what this piece is, pure and simple. Do I think it would hold up for the beginning of a longer work? Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't. It all depends on the tone. I am sorry that you don't prefer this style of writing, as I (and I'm sure other readers) have found it quite enjoyable when utilized properly. Granted, this may not be utilized properly at all, and the other reviewers who enjoyed it might all be gits... But I prefer to err on the side of self-preservation (and the larger number of positive critiques).
If you'd like to take a bit more time, I'd appreciate a bit more help and less pomposity.
Sincerely,
~Vicki
I have been taught that the first duty of the writer is to be honest and responsible with the reader; the first duty of the reader is to trust, to be patient, and to be generous; that is, to go along for the ride, quietly correct mistakes, if found, and look over minor, irritating flaws, and to save discussion of more major ones for later.The staff here at The Wolf's Den are now in process of constructing a most appreciative reply, and we hope to continue catching this critic's eye in the future. We've weathered our first bad critique with enthusiasm and poise, and come away with solid plans for the future.
My criticism of your piece has more to do with the structural, and even spiritual, workings of your piece as opposed to the surface workings. I am talking about bone structure (third-person limited vs. omniscient), as opposed to what color the eyes should be (this word over that word). You already have enough people suggesting better words, sentences, delivery, etc., but you don't seem to have a lot of people wondering about major structural things, like which point of view to select, or which character to make the focus of the story.
I mean, who cares if some piece of writing is 'cliché' when it will most likely be gotten rid of in the revision process? You already know my suggestions for the piece: cut down goblet lover's role to a paragraph or two, and then bring in the female thief, because that's (one of) the directions I see the story going. You don't even have to change the point of view entirely, just the person whom the camera follows. Have the female thief be perched in the rafters or something, critiquing his style in her head, all the while putting up with a killer craving for a ham sandwich. People don't like it when they don't get something they want, it puts them in a bad mood. And I'm sure she knows who goblet lover is. I mean, what -other- thief in the “property re-appropriation business” would be jacking some tawdry bauble all the while professing his love to it as though the goblet were Snow White and he's Prince Charming? What a weirdo! He probably doesn't even bathe, (lol). She didn't even come for the goblet, anyhow, she came for some elaborate tapestry -next- to the goblet (which is why she's about to do what she's about to do), but because she's cranky because she didn't get her ham sandwich, and because she doesn't really like the guy in the first place, and because she -can- kill him, she decides to do it anyway. (When people know they can do something and get away with it, they often do.) And the reason Lady Thief so easily kills Goblet Lover is because she's the pro, and he's just some amateur with a thing for goblets (who's learned a few tricks from the pros or through internet research). He's like that guy at the party that no one likes, not because he's a jerk, but because he's just.... strange. Why do I say, suggest, and explore all of this (the ham sandwich thing is a bit of a stretch)? Because you can totally tell by the way Lady Thief is treated that she's the real hoff-hoffa here. She just glides gracefully and without fault, does what she wishes, how she wishes to, with no fear of failure, for she is the Goddess in this fictive world. -She- is your protagonist, not Kumkuat, the Goblet Hoarder.
Did I mention you have plot, characterization, and atmosphere? Oh yes, you do. We know what's going on, we know who's doing it, and we know where it's happening. Someone is stealing a goblet, it's Goblet Lover who is the one stealing said goblet, and it's happening on a clear night with the moon out in full force, giving everything that soft glow that only a full moon on a clear night can provide. The details could be a little more distinct, a little more exact, the movie playing in our minds a little more crisp and vivid, but we've been given enough detail to work with (anyone with a decent imagination has all they need to image-craft).
You succeed tremendously in attempting to breathe life to this little man who has a thing for goblets such that his love for goblets seems to border on the fetish to the outside observer; he's so involved in his own pathology that he probably doesn't even see the harm in stealing priceless artifacts from the viewing public. The problem is that you've done your job too well. You focus so much on goblet lover that the reader just assumes this must be the one he is to care about; this is the protagonist. So that when he -is- finally killed (because he's not the protagonist), the reader becomes upset, cries foul, and prosecutes in civil court for breach of contract. LoL, I mean, I enjoyed your character so much that I attacked you for killing him! How's that? “Here's the man I'm supposed to care about, and I do, and then you kill him? Wtf? I call shenanigans.”
You had adequate tension in the plot, too. Goblet lover wants the goblet, he's getting the goblet, he almost has the goblet, but then in comes the damn red-head again, suddenly in comes the red-haired Valkyrie to smite him. And for... what reason, exactly? I mean, talk about a sudden turn of events; it's bizarre. This red-haired woman just comes out of no where, omnipotent, and derails the entire story you had set in motion.
And so I have to ask you, which character is this story about? Goblet Lover, or Lady Thief? You make the goblet lover your protagonist due to the fact that Goblet Lover is the “center” of the story's perspective. Because this is third-person limited, and everything we see in this world, we see first in relation to the goblet lover—everything is valued through him, seen through him, measured through him, etc. But then along comes Lady Thief with her laundry list of privileges to wreck havoc on the story.
If the story is about Goblet Lover, then he cannot be killed so early in the story, and not without good cause. If the story is about Lady Thief, then you need to reduce Goblet Lover's role in the story to a few paragraphs and save the rest of the spotlight for her. I mean, you can't have characters, like Lady Thief, come barging in, running amok, and trampling all over the narrative you're weaving. Because Goblet Lover is killed so early, and because he is so easily dispatched (he is effectively a victim, a victim being someone who can only ever be acted upon; things happen to him, but he does not make things happen) it makes the reader think that the story is really about Lady Thief, because why would any protagonist get killed off in a page or two, and so easily at that? After reading your story, the reader is confused. And irritated because of it.
But maybe this has all been for nothing. Maybe this isn't really a story at all and is just some mere exercise turned into the Writer's Workshop because you were bored at the time, making this entire analysis beside the point.
In any case, I hopes this helps, I'm sorry for being a jerk face, and hopefully what you have now received from me is more in line with your expectations for good criticism, because believe or not, I've just given you two, maybe even three, hours of my life. At the very least, I hope you don't accuse me of being insincere.
Regards,
~D.
And that brings us to the final order of business: future planning. This Friday we are mandating the staff attend a Writer's Workshop on good critiquing practices. Powell's Books is holding the event with writers Rosanne Parry, Fran Cannon Slayton, and Edith M. Hemingway, and it looks to be an exciting opportunity. A recap of the event will likely be included in next week's write-up.
As always, thank you for your continued patronage.
Best regards,
~Vicki~
Keywords:
bad review
,
critique
,
Olympics
,
progress report
,
review
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